Mama’s Lullaby
After years of gracefully dodging cancer, my mother now requires the daily care provided by an assisted-living facility. Today her face is peaceful, arms curled and folded over her distended belly raising up and down with each breath. She wears pink polka-dot pajamas, a gold heart necklace my sister bought her with all our names attached, and fuzzy blue socks. A bounty of family photos and two of her oil paintings decorate the walls. She sleeps with her mouth open and her blanket-wrapped body beside the window where she can watch birds on the olive tree when she wakes. I’ve perched my phone on her pillow so she can hear the song I’ve just recorded for her called “Mama’s Lullaby.”
Listen now~
Initially, I penned the lyrics prompted by my meditation teacher who asked me to write a song about the “Divine Mother.'“ The divine feminine is the compassionate, unconditional mother love that is spoken of in so many traditions (ie, Shakina, Mother Mary, Shakti, Mother Earth, Gaia). As my mother’s health started to decline in 2021, I realized that perhaps my song was about my own divine Mama. I decided to record it for her in time for Mother’s Day.
Since her condition began to shift, I’ve noticed the wants and needs of her old personality dissolve and something so beautiful emerge. I believe I am witnessing the “feminine face of God” in my own mother—she simply is pure love. The mother-daughter expectations and dense baggage between us have disappeared—replaced by a profound unconditional tenderness. Whether or not I came to visit these past months didn’t seem to matter, only that when I showed up, she was happy to see me and it was so easy for us to express our love—in words, hugs and kisses, rubbing rose oil in her hands or playing music. The same was true for when my sister, brother or her grandchildren would come—my mom emitted such compassion and kindness and even humor. All who visit or call have been touched by her sweetness and genuine smile.
My mom has lived way beyond all doctors’ predictions and she continues to surprise us with her perseverance and strength. Mainly, I’m in awe of the pureness of her mother love and how lucky I am to experience this divine aspect of her before she crosses over to God. Today I share this song, a lullaby for my Mama in her last days—and though she can no longer tell me in words, I know with all my heart that she feels my love infused in every note.
